Top Tips to help you Start Managing your Anger

To the Angry Person in Wolverhampton
From Anger Coach Martin Hogg

The biggest issue with anger management is to know where to start, so I am going to take you through a couple things i have found most effective over the last few years working with hundreds of angry young people. If you want a chat with somebody about your anger leave a message for me, Martin on 08456585713 or text 07870565884 and I will get back to you. This service is currently only available to young people in Wolverhampton.

The first thing to look at is to recognise that we all have ‘hot buttons’ or ‘triggers’ that make us angry. Sometimes one word can trigger us into a huge rage. This gives other people huge power over us.
The consequences are often that we end up excluded from school, in trouble, or injured. Some people may use these triggers to ‘wind us up’ deliberately and enjoy seeing us get angry. You are not a sideshow, or an exhibit so don’t give them the satisfaction. If you can somehow free yourself from these triggers you will be making a big step in starting to mange your anger.

You could-
Recognise that some people and some places increase the likelihood of this trigger being pulled (or the button being pressed). You could try to avoid these people and places.

Recognise the anger building up in you and make a sharp and powerful exit or tell the person ‘ i am not going to give you the satisfaction of seeing me get angry, you’re not worth it’

Use humour- ‘that old one’ ‘I love you too’ ‘yeah, yeah’ They won’t get so much fun out of winding you up if there is no reaction.

Speak to friends to gain their support- ask them to intervene before you lose it or help you walk away

Remember that it is more powerful to not get in to a big reaction

Some people are left with a lot of anger inside themselves and I have known people punch walls and even self harm as a result. This is often because the anger is often held inside. One of the best ways to deal with this is to do something physical. This could be fast walk and run, a bike ride, swimming, press ups in your room, hitting a punch bag or something similar. For some people they need to run for an hour, others get away with squeezing a stress ball.

Some people get a great benefit from working one to one with a counsellor because there is something going on for them that is causing them to be angry. The counsellor can give them time and space and talk about this. In Wolverhampton free Counselling is available for Base 25. You can also talk to your youth leader, school mentor or Swipe trained peer educator for more information.